HuniePop is porn.
Really, I should end the review at that. It’s a puzzle game that rewards the player in Hentai styled nude photos of attractive women. That should be the end of the story right there. You can probably find the same kind of setup for free on some crappy Adult Flash games site or on Newgrounds.com without paying the 10 bucks on Steam for it. After all, porn is porn and porn is available for free everywhere on the internet. Why should you put down money for a game that’s main attraction can be sought out online?
Because porn aside, it’s a ridiculously addictive and fun puzzle game/ dating sim. But before we get into that, let’s get into the story, and yes, I actually paid attention to the story in this.
You are a hapless, young virgin who is down on his luck with the girls and has the confidence of a puppy who just got scolded for peeing on the rug. That is until you meet the fairy, Kyu, who has been sent to turn you into the biggest stud muffin this side of Johnny Depp. Your mission is to go on at least 4 dates with 9 selectable women whom you will eventually sleep with and advance one step closer to becoming the greatest sex magnet to ever live.
To win your dates, you must complete a Candy Crush-esque puzzle involving matching 3 or more of a kind of symbol within a given amount of moves. These puzzles are what make the game for me. They are addictive and challenging, and at points, hair-pullingly frustrating. There are broken hearts which destroy a lot of your progress, pink hearts that act as a multiplier, bells that give your extra moves, and upgrades you can purchase throughout the game.
You pay for upgrades with Hunie, which you get after talking to the women you are looking to bed. You learn about them, their interests, facts about their lives (and cup size), and giving them gifts you pay for with the money you get after a successful date. The more dates you go on, the more money and the more challenging the puzzles become.
As mentioned before, the puzzles are the star of the show. I never played Candy Crush, but if it is the same as the puzzles here, I understand now why it’s so damn popular. It’s a game that makes you feel victorious after completing a date that you had trouble dealing with. Beating the puzzles becomes a goal in of itself, which, going into the game, I had no idea that that was going to be the factor that kept me playing.
Another thing I was surprised at digging was the dating sim elements, though I wish they would have been expanded upon. While the game essentially boils down to “Talk to woman, remember facts, answer questions, sleep with” at times, it helps knowing that the women you are courting aren’t just there to please every kind of fetish. They actually have some decent personalities and characters that I found myself growing attached to. Personal favorites include Nikki, the introverted typical nerd, Kyanna, the bubbly fitness enthusiast, Aiko, the cynical and sarcastic school teacher, Beli, the sweet and kind spiritualist, and Kyu, who speaks almost entirely in slang and memes (#Noice).
Every woman is memorable in someway and leave an impact on you even after turning the game off. I give credit to the great voice acting and voice acting direction for making the normally groan inducing dialog come off as natural for their characters and more endearing than cliche. There are even some laughs to be had, with one big one coming after talking with Audrey, the sociopathic party girl, for the first time. I won’t give much away, just make sure to answer one of her questions in the most 420-ist way possible. Fo shizzle.
But I’ve put it off long enough, let’s talk about sex. Yes, in this game, there is nudity and plenty of it. Thankfully the women are all above legal age, so it doesn’t come off as weird when seeing a nude sent by a small chested cheerleader who is still technically a teenager. But the game does function to serve a lot of fetishes, including the 3 secret characters. There is Cerberus, a blue skinned alien to please the Captain Kirk enthusiasts, Venus, the actual goddess of love and Kyu’s boss to please the Greek and Roman Myth enthusiasts, and…….*sigh* Momo, the catgirl servant girl to please the catgirl servant enthusiasts. Odd, but I don’t judge. However, the thing that helps keep HuniePop outside of the “cheap hentai game” list is the fact that, well, the porn itself is nice to look at. I’m not saying that because it pleases my male sexual fantasies, I’m saying that the art itself is really nice. A standard anime aesthetic, sure, but none the less, still appealing to look at.
Though, I feel the game could have been a lot better. While the focus on the puzzles and porn was paramount, and rightfully so, I still would have liked more effort going into the dating sim elements. I did get into these characters and I wouldn’t have minded more dramatic or romantic options to discuss. Take Kyanna, for instance, who is a single mother. That could have made for some great drama down the line. As is, it’s still fine, but I feel that it could have been expanded on further. Plus, the music itself wasn’t that noteworthy and I found myself turning it off for the most part.
HuniePop is one of those surprising games that knows it’s cheesecake, embraces that fact, but also makes sure it’s also delicious to eat. As said before, the art is great, the characters aren’t unlikable enough to be annoyed by, and the puzzles are really fun. I’d hesitate to call this one of the best puzzle games ever, because it really isn’t, but it’s certainly one of the best I’ve played in a while. The developer behind the game, HuniePot, is already in development for their next game, HunieCamStudio, a sequel which is set to be more of a Tycoon sort of game, featuring the cast of HuniePop with new characters in a kind of Chibi art style.
You can currently get this on Steam for $9.99 (though I got it for around $3.50 during the Black Friday sale) with the soundtrack and digital art collection going for $3.99, if you so feel inclined to purchase them as well.
My final rating for HuniePop is a 3.75/5 and I would recommend purchasing this game for full price.
Yes, HuniePop is porn, but it’s well made porn.